my letter to people magazine.

I am on hold, so I think, I am going to sure the net as the computer assistant just told me my expected wait time is greater than 15 minutes.

I had the great thought, I should write People Magazine.  So I sent them this email.

Dear Editors,

I have spent the past few months in a sullen state of dismay due to once again being egregiously left out off the previous list of People’s most beautiful people. Each year I look at the list and think, okay, I may not be top 10 material, but I could easily slide around 43. I also realize that tooting one’s own horn is not all that beautiful of a characteristic, however as I do not have an agent and am not famous I have decided the assault on my image of myself has gone on long enough, so I am writing you to ask for consideration in your next list.

I have just reread what I typed and have decided that perhaps I am overstating my own beauty. After all there are six billion people in the world and I am claiming to be around the 43rd most beautiful. That very act disqualifies me from inclusion. Narcissism is clearly not a beautiful characteristic.

But if I but some qualifiers on it, I think I might make your list. First off I am a guy. As we only represent about 48% of the world’s population. This means while I may not be in the top 50 of the whole population, perhaps I am in the top 50 dudes.

This still leaves 3 billion people, among them that guy in the old spice commercials. I am going to have to admit, he has me beat, also Brad Pitt, Will Smith, and several others have me beat on the beauty-o-meter.

I have decided to add some more qualifiers. If the fine folks at People ever decide to put a list of the 50 most beautiful male, Capricorn, left-handed, blue eyed, blood type A- , certified public Accountants, I humbly request consideration for this list.

Thank you

Darkside

I am being tempted by the Dark side.

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Completely unrelated but I heard some people on the radio protesting the location of the proposed Mosque near ground zero.  I really have no opinion of this, and that is not why I write.  They also talked about the suicide bombers from 9/11 thinking they would go to paradise with 72 virgins.

Which got me to thinking this is a horrible reward for the following reasons.

• 1 women is more than I can handle, 2 would be insane, 72, well that is no kind of paradise.
• Really, 72 women in paradaise, who don't know what they're doing with me.  I barely manage to stumble around my life without it being complicated by my having to teach what i don't know.
• I think in this set up the guy is the leader of the operation, that is pure lunecy. This isn't a reward, this is like herding cats, or better yet jelly fish.

If i am going to die for a cause the reward shouldn't create more drama and work than the sacrifice.

but then they're not trying to recruit me.

Memories

So the other day, yesterday to be exact, but it is only yesterday if you read this today, so I will say a while back I heard a news story from evensville.  A rather sad story that was in the news.  Actually, it was from Arizona, To sum up, two girls in the desesrt are in a horrible car crash, one dies and one is in critical condition, they mistakenly miss ID the girls so the dead girls soccer team is coming to her funeral only to learn that she is the one that is alive.

I am not making light of this story, it is horrific, and well I think it is an episode of law and order. But in the law and order the mom of the dead girl kills the undead girl who is really her daugter for killing her daughter, which is nice.  I am serious that is an episode of law and order not sure which franchise, but nevermind that. 

The girls soccer team was University of Evensville.   They're in indiana.  When I was a Junior in High School, my dad got transferred out there, while we looked for a place to live, we stayed in the Raddison.  My parents had a room and my sister and I shared a room.  I swear every night when we went to our rooms and turned the tv on, Cinimax was playing this movie  "Ilsa the Tigress of Siberia" Which is one of the movies that gave Cinimax the nickname as Skinamax.  It was funny to us at the time, every night it seemed like we would turn it on and there she was, the Tigress. So like some pavlovian dog, you mention evensville to me now, and i think naked american's playing naked russians in movies.

I am not sure how to insert a section break here, but as a side bar that is completely unrealted and more than a little amusing. The lady that played the Tigress now offeres wedding in Las Vegas. I am serious, how perfect is that.  A senic Wedding  They offer outdoor weddings services.  I don't know if it their slogan or not but it says "If you are looking for an alternative to a traditional wedding chapel, consider "Nature's Outdoor Cathedral".  right on their home page.  As someone who got married on a beach, I can get behind that.  However, I am not sure I want a women that used to be in nudie movies doing it.

Other side note, isn't the internet great. In less than five minutes I found a movie I didn't know the name of, from 30 years ago, and what the "star" is doing now.