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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

advice for adam, thnigs that crack me up, and my evil thought of the day.

One - Adam's Advice

Since Adam is a young buck and not married, here is a little tip to make your future life easier. If you want to spend all saturday and sunday watching football, you had better watch something with the wife, it makes it less painful if you enjoy the program, so I watch Desperate housewives, unless the Steelers are playing a Sunday night game.

Two - things that crack me up.

Three - my evil thought of the day

I was walking behind our secrectary whom I loath, and I thought, how come no one has ever hit her in the back of the head with a shovel.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Here is a quick test to tell how geeky you are

Who is your favorite comic book character? If your answer is someone that you like becuase of the books and not the movies, your uber geeky. If it is someone you like cause of the movies, or sorta geeky, and if you say, I don't read comic books you're just plain uppity.

Anyway my favorite is Cable. He is <------ that guy. As far as I know this is his story.

He is the son of Cyclops and Jean Grey. I think, although, he might be son of Cyclops and the Phoniex which I don't have time to get into but was really either and other dimensions Jean Grey or a clone. Take your pick as I am sure folks who read this wont know better.

Anyway he contracted a virus as a small fellow that was uncureable, so they did what ever good parent does and sent him to the future. Where he was able to get treatment, hence the metal arm, He has to hold his body together, his physic powers. However upon learning the fate of the world, as an adult he travels back to the present to save the world from destruction as a dude how is much older than his parents. There is speculation that if he didn't have to waste alot of energy on holding his non organic body parts in place that his power would consume him.

Anyway, I was looking forward to watching Desperate housewives this weekend, but I was annoyingly disappointed as it was a rerun. I got to thinking this is just a evening soap opera. Even thought It is mostly funny. It got me to thinking I like soap operas? No, but than I remembered, that the comic books all seem to be soaps only geared towards 14 year old boys.

There are love interests, rivals, deaths, fake deaths, real (fictional) deaths that the writers later choose to ignore. All in the name of entertaining me. Which is good, cause I say when it come to entertaining me, leave not stone unturned.

The only comic book series i really ever followed in book format was X-Force. However before I read comics, I had me a terrific set of Green lantern underroos. Which gets me thinking, how sweet would it be to have a set of underroos for men, in the green lanter motif?

Zen and public potties.

Remember Fonzie on Happy Days? I mean if your not like 12 or so I am sure you do. He was the cool guy, in hind sight, he was the creepy older guy hanging out with high school kids but nevermind that. He referred to his men's room at I think it was called Al's drive in as his office.

Beej wanted to know why so many bathroom posts. It is for a couple reasons, having gone into men's rooms all my life, I have learned that if you do so it is best to have all your senses set to extra sensative (except for smell). This way you can at least hope to minimize your exposure to nastiness. A byproduct of this state of hieghtened senses is that you notice stuff.

This is why guys go to the bathroom alone, I am unsure what women are doing in their packs in the public restrooms, but if you want to get some good thinking done, you go to the mens room, upon crossing the threshold, you will enter this state of aweness not attainable outside of the mensroom. In this state of nastiness avoidence, you can find the solution to all kinds of problems, world hunger, the national debt, unemployment, the list is seemingly endless. Unfortunately for the world, once the men leave the mens room, that quite brief encounter with clarity is short lived. After leaving the mens room it is back to the typical questions that haunt men. Thong or brief, tramp stamp or not.

Friday, December 19, 2008


I mean that like eeewww, not ewe, cause i have nothing against sheep. Actually I do. They're dumb and not tasty but that is neither here nor there.

I meant to post about this rather eweish episode the other day, but forgot, than I saw Abby with her foot propped up on a toilet and I remembered my post idea.

So the other day, I was attending a CPE (continuing professional education, I have to have 80 hours of it every 2 years with no less than 20 in any year, and 2 have to be in ethics).

Side bar, The ethics requirement is newish, it was put in as a response to the whole Enron debacle. Which always cracks me up. While the CPAs were in the back room shredding documents, it didn't occur to them that this might be wrong? It kills me, that the CPA society's fix for that was to make me sit in a class for 2 hours every 2 years and it basically goes like this.
Don't fall into group think, sometimes group think leads honest people to do things they wouldn't have thought they would do. but if you take this class you won't do it. Sheesh.

Anyway, this particular event was in the Pepsi Center in a small conference room. (another side bar) They had snacks and soda, so i was at least not visibly disgruntled and ate my cracker jacks* and drank my diet soda in relative silence. Well except when she assigned us a group problem. Here it is, "if you're conducting an interview, think of a question you can ask that will help you gauge their character." The other groups played nice and came up with thinks like describe a time you had to lie, but it was the right thing to do. Being the spokesman for my group, I said, "we got nothin!" Which is more honest, because how are you supposed to judge someones character when they're trying to answer questions the way you want them answered.

After the conference and before the hockey game, I stopped by the men's room to take care of the soda i had consumed, it seemed like a popular destination, because there where lots of guys in there with the little book with the class title on it. Most of us held the book in one hand and held our man tool in the other. Except one guy. This guy set his book down in front of his feet, and left of the urinal, and right of another. WTF. As I was sticking to the floor because of nastiness left by other guys, I thought, that is just gross. Maybe, dude doesn't want it. But no he picks it up takes it to the sink washes his hands and picks it up again. i shudder just thinking of it.

I've had time to ponder this event and even if dude is particularly blessed and this is a two hand job, why not put it in your back pocket or on the sink or at least on the floor far away from the nastiness. Why there? Am I mistaken in my belief that this is a worthless handout, is it really invaluable and should be protected? I don't know I am confused by it.

* Crackerjacks prizes suck. I didn't know they still had prizes, I thought they got rid of them, so I was elated when i saw the little plastic bag with my prize in it. I briefly thought, I could go for a tattoo. That would be awesome!! So I open the bad and it is this crappy origami thing. This was less than overwhelming, and slightly more than disappointing.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

savior everything

I was talking to my sister Sunday morning. It was 75 at her house and she was taking it for granted. She didn't even think that it was all that nice.

While I was talking to her, It was -11 according to the Jeep's temp thing.

Latter that morning it warmed up to like 5 without me going back out side.
It was than that I began to savor the newly found 16 degrees.

Ignoring the fact that i still needed 27 more degrees to melt the snow, it was much much nicer than -11. When it is 5 out you can really appreciate each new degree. I nearly did a cart wheel when it got up to 10. but than i remembered, i am a middle aged overweight, out of shape unlimber accountant. I thought the last thing i need is to explain this to an emergency room nurse.

I hear tale that China dogs are wimpy and don't like the cold. Well, this is not my dog. He went out side and did his business, and than wanted to stay out, so i left him out. About 10 to 20 minutes later I come to get him, and he says, no thanks I am sleeping under this tree.

The dog had taken up under a pine tree and was curled up into a circle, his nose resting on his back leg. Just in front of his nose was a bunch of frost. His breath was freezing in his hair.

I said, Neil, get your furry self inside, and this is why you don't make the choices around here, so he came in and stretched out on his pillow and continued to sleep.

I really think he was telling me, that he just wanted to sleep in, don't you know this is sleeping in kinda weather.

Sometimes he is smarter than me and knows how to savior a Sunday morning.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Rhodes Scholars

The other day some kid that plays football for Florida state, his last name is Rolle, became a Rhodes scholar. He is athletic and smart. not regular athletic, he is or would be a projected first round draft pick in the nfl. and not regular smart, freaky smart.

I was reading the yesterday about some the winners of the Marshall scholarships.

These are some smart folks, but I don't like them. I know this is unfair, but every time i hear of the Rhodes scholars anymore I think of Randal when he won the apprentice and the Donald let his first decision be whether or not he should hire the runner up as well, some girl or woman if you prefer, named Rebecca. He responded with (I took this response from Wiki) "I firmly believe this is 'The Apprentice,'" and that "there is one, and only one 'Apprentice' and if you're going to hire someone tonight, it should be one." He added that the show was called "The Apprentice" and not "The Apprenti"

Now every time i hear some one won either of these awards, that is one smart cat there. I think, that person is probably an ass that the US would be better off is we shipped them to the UK and left them there.

Can we do that?

combine apprentiance with survivor. And vote really smart asses off the island. The island being North America. Well, I would let them go to Barrow and maybe Moosejaw if they wanted.

Friday, December 5, 2008

My dog is the subject of lots of posts

I was out with my dog walking this morning it was 7° out this morning, it was cold, the snow was covered with frost. In case you're wondering, I don't know this happens but it is somewhere between 32 to 7. What happens in that range. Well the boogers freeze in your nose.

For those that might use the other less user friendly temp scale, taht is between 0 and -13 the boogers in your nose freeze.

I do not know if this is a good thing or not, On one hand it does prevent that nasty snotty frozen snot mustache. On the other hand once you have ice in your sinuses it is hard to get warm once you go in.

So i am walking the dog, and i notice he is doing a little tripod thing when ever we stop. I am on like ha your are cold lets go in. he says to me, roof, which means no.
So i leave him out and go in, come back in like 20 minutes and he has taken to lying in the snow with his little muzzle buried in the snow, so i come out and he has a frost beard. i am assuming the dog breathe melted the snow, but only so much so that the water could get to his whiskers and muzzle, dude had a full on frost beard with chuncks of ice on some whiskers.

So i say, neil, despite the fact that you think you want to be out here, I know what is best for you now come inside, to which he said roof. So i said, you want some breakfast, and he agains said roof, but this time it meant yes.

I've learned that yes and no in dog are very similar, kinda like aloha means hello and goodbye. Well Roof means yes and no.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

It is cold here

This morning it is cold, tommorrow it will be colder, than saturday almost 60 again. WTF!! How am I supposed to know in advance what to wear?

Not that this is on topic or anything, but if ever you need proof that mother nature, was a woman and not a dude, her fickle nature of late is more than just circumstancial evidence of such.

Anyway, someone emailed this to me, it cracked me up. I suppose it is colder in other places.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

the stock market is stupid

So yesterday some one officially announced we're in a reccession.

Hum, that is shocking new!! Or alternatively duh

What I don't get is why the stock market fell upon recieving this news?

Monday, December 1, 2008

It was cold this weekend

Friday and Sunday greeted me with snow, saturday was cold. I typically like the cold, or so I thought. It turns out I do not like the cold, My dog on the other hand loves the cold. He slept outside saturday and wouldn't come in. I tried to get him to come in at 10, midnight, 3 am and than he finally came in around 6 but only cause that is time for his walk, so he came in one door and went right to the other.

When I was researching the Bernese Mountain Dog, it said, they make much better house dogs than yard dogs, becuase of their nature they like to be part of the family. Aparantly they where used to heard in switzerland, but unlike other heard dogs that kept the cows sheep, lama, and i suppose emus in a group, berners just lived in the group. Thus when a wolf or cheeta or something came along right in the middle of the heard was a 120 lb dog.

No where in the book did it say that your dog will insist that you are in a group outside when the weather is cold. He doesn't do it if it is only sorta cold. like 45. But if it is like 20 out, he goes to the door goes outside, spends like 10 seconds asks to come in, spends like 2 minutes asks to go out, spends like 10 seconds asks to come in, spends like 2 minutes. Unless you go out with him, if you do that he either takes to playing or laying in the snow under the pine tree.

So there I am reading my mail, outside in 25 degree weather (about -2 for ute) with my dog sleeping under a pine tree. As soon as i went in, he would get up and come to the dog to want to come in, but he didn't want to come in, he wanted me to come out. how do you explain to a dog that you lack the handy double coat he has. The dog has seen me naked, he should know i am not furry.

Friday, November 28, 2008


The other day I was driving around, i think going to the store, I am not sure but the talk radio guys where talking about the new Burton snowboards that feartures playmates, and shockingly the nude butt of the playmates.

I would have never heard of these board without the radio show, and so I did a google search. I found this article

Racy Snowboards Banned From Slopes

Know what cracks me up about this? I don't know how many of you snowboard or ski, but the reason I ride the board I do, Is that it was one of the few boards in the size I wanted a couple years back that didn't feature either violent imagines or drug references or both.

I went to and looked at their mens boards, most have plain graphics that look like graffiti to me, but I am not sure there is anything you could comment on.

On board has skulls on it, the Jeremy board features what looks like a pigman with a bloody machete raised above his head. The Fix board looks like a pill and says 55mg on it. the primo board shows a comic of someone frame by frame cutting their finger off and sewing on the big number one foam finger. and the CONdom board looks like the condom tip on either end with DOM in big print in the middle.

Just for fun though I went to another snowboard site, K2 was the company i picked, mostly cause i know they make them, I am not even sure what kind of board I own. hehe K2 had a bunch of boards most of them pretty boring, but they did have one that showed a skeleton breaking through a wall, kinda.

It took some thinking but I think I ride a Neversummer board. They have some pretty tame boards too, but the evo board has a really busy random bottom I counted 5 skulls and one grim reaper.

If i wanted to take the time, I could find boards with images of nuclear explosions, gun, blood, mary jane leaves, skeletons, graves, headstones, other boards with sexually explict words, tanks, war planes. Mostly just images of violence and drug use.

I don't care either way, but Burton is by far the biggest of the 3 companies (in snowboarding, K2 might be bigger if you add skies) I choose to look at, they had the most sexual images, the most drug references and about the same amount of violent images. I count skulls as violent.

I think there is a less than a small relationship between the success of burton and the anti establishment images they sell.

Burton probably is smiling all the way to the bank about this attention.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

It is 2 for one day here at the ranch.

2 for one day, must be a topic of great import to warrant a second posting. Well, as most of you who read this stuff know, there is rarely a topic of great import to cross the lines of this blog.

But i was reading this (Ways Women Can Hold Their Own in a Male World) the wall street journal online. and I read it and thought. What the hell are they talking about. Some of them are good tips some are silly, the join the softball team, is silly. unless your good at softball, what men don't want are people (men or women) forcing themselves into a situation that they don't want to be in.

If you suck at softball, your better off not playing than causing a team to loss. Unless you lucky enough to have a team that is really focused on the experience rather than winning, but those guys are playing disc golf or ultimate Frisbee.

Anyway, you want to know the secret into dealing with men if you're a woman? Here it is. Know something about sports. Most importantly football, as it is by far the most popular sport in the country, but don't be faking it. About a year after I got my current job, my boss told me he dropped a football question into the interview, to see how i answered it. That got me the job, he said he was tired of no one to talk football with.

That is the big secret men talk about sports, if i go back to my home town and see a friend I've not seen since college, the conversation will go something like this, stammer, stammer, how are you, how are the kids stammer, mumble, mumble, how about those broncos have you gotten to any games since you live in Denver? blah blah blah, but with much more enthusiasm. Men have football. It is our great societal discussion. We don't talk about feelings, or stuff, so much as we talk about sports.

If you work in a male dominated office there is going to be some bond the males in the office have, football, basketball, kids soccer. Showing a genuine interest in it, will get you into conversations that ultimately turn to work projects. Being part of these conversations is where you can get first crack at getting more responsibility delegated to you. I mean what boss isn't going to think, lets give Sally a shot at the quarterly projections after all she does know the single wing formation.

why everyone should blog,

The past week or so, like i mentioned I have been feeling frustrated with myself for my lack of focus, my frustration, lack of motivation, grumpiness and general blah feeling.

I wrote that I am frustrated, and when you people asked me why, I thought about it.

It turns out that just thinking about the problem identifying it and resolving not to let stuff bother you for no good reason, is a good reason for getting along better.

Anyway, I am feeling much better now, in part due to this blog.

Monday, November 24, 2008


No particulars just a general sense of frustration with the world as a whole. Clearly it is the world and not me that has a problem.

Or that could be me and the world is the same.

Since people want more to work with I think it is 2 things.
  • First I am gaining weight and I don't know why. I am not exercising like abby, but I went to spin twice last week and went swimming twice, so I worked out four days last week. That pisses me off. I don't think my diet has changed.
  • Second the holidays stress me out. This stems from upbringing. Christmas and thanksgiving in a house run by alcoholics was at best not fun. My brother in laws call my sisters the Christmas Bitches. I dont know how to get out from under this cloud even though, I will not be involved with my family this holiday season.
So there you have it.

Friday, November 21, 2008


Frustration is setting in. I dont' know what to do.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

sexist man alive

It is that time of year once again when People magazine reveals who they've picked as the sexiest man alive. After being so close to winning last year, I awoke this morning, wandered over to my pc, and was devastated by the news that once again, I've lost.

Only this year to add insult to injury right on the cover it says 129 Smokin' hot guys.

I tried to add the cover but that didn't work so here is a link. Not to people but to some yahoo news article. Anyway, it says 129 smokin hot guys, as i mentioned before.

Prior to reading this article, I was sure I was a finalist, I just got beaten out by Jackman's accent. The American gals loves them some aussie accent. What is a guy from Utah to do, nothing I can do about that. So I take my beating and go off knowing I was that close to winning this year.

But now right there on the cover it says "Plus 129 smokin' hot guys.", That means there are 129 other guys that beat me out. I can take some solace in knowing that I was 130. Why didn't htey have 130 other guys leave 130 off is just mean

Oh well, Remember that show, Say Anything. When Lloyd's friend says "Don't be a guy Lloyd, be a man." That has got me thinking, I may not have been named the sexiest man alive, and only becuase I don't have a cool accent, but that doesn't mean that I didn't finish ahead of those jokers in the 129 hot guys list. I am man and not a guy.

I am awarding myself the Second sexiest man alive award to me.

Monday, November 17, 2008

The tax code sucks

Anyone wanna know what is wrong with our tax code here it is.

Lets say you have a rental property that you rent furnished, and you decide to sell it. The land, the building and the furniture all have different return treatments or that is they all have different rules governing the tax return treatment, which is likely the same on all 3 but to get there you have to figure out the treatment of all 3 types of porperty seperatly.

Lets say you sell it all at gain. The gain is capital gain (15% right now), except for the recapture of any depreciation taken which is ordinary (can be 35%). Simple enough.

Lets say you sell it at a loss. The loss is ordinary (as opposed to capital as is the case of the gain, except for the deprecation recapture). So you sell, your property at a loss, only if the furniture is fully depreciated you will likely have gain on the portion of the sells price allocated to the furniture because your basis is zero. It will be ordinary as you have to recapture your deprecation. Which means you could sell your rental home at a loss and still have taxable gain.

Nevermind that, lets pretend it is all a loss covered by section 1231. In this case the loss is all ordinary loss deducted from income in the year of sale. Capital losses are limited to capital gains plus 3000 of ordinary loss per year. (meaning if you have a capital asset, lets say Washington Mutual stock, and you lost 60,000 on it, and you have no other gains it will take you 20 years to decutct the loss). So you take your loss, but since it is section 1231 gain. You have to keep track of it, and any 1231 gain you have in the next five years will be treated as ordinary income to the extent of any 1231 losses you deducted.

This my friends is why all the cool kids are tax accountants.
Our tax code is something like 20,000 pages long.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Top Eighties songs

I was watching me some "100 greatest songs of the 80s" on VH1, when I had this thought, If i were to make a list it would be much much different. Out of a lack of blogging ideas, and a audience that is hovering between nonexistent and apathetic. I can say your apathetic and non existent because you wont give me blogging ideas. I chose to make my own list. Here is it in no particular order, but the first few songs were the ones that popped into my head first, so I say they are higher. Also I tag all of you who happen to read this to do the same. And the only rule is, you can't list a bunch of songs by the same band. (Also for me the talking heads and violent femmes are mostly ninties bands, becuase that is when I listened to them).

  • Girls, Girls, Girls - Motley Crue
  • Pour some sugar on me - Def Leppard
  • Touch of Grey - The Grateful Dead
  • Violent Playground - Nitzer ebb
  • Bring the Noise - Public Enemy
  • Cold Blood - Kix
  • Youth Gone Wild - Skid Row
  • Friends in low places - Garth Brooks
  • Moni Moni - Billy Idol
  • Crazy Train - Ozzy
  • Back in Black - ACDC
  • Black Velvet - Alannah Myles
  • Money for Nothing - Dire Straights
  • Mr. Brownstone - Guns and Roses
  • Permanent Vacation - Aerosmith
  • Nothin but a Good Time - Poison
  • Ican't get this to move the type back over there. oh well
Maybe this will work

Hum that odd, oh well. Anyway, that is my list that I thought of in less than 10 mintues. I am not claiming these are the best songs of the 80s. Those are the songs that popped into my head when thinking of the 80s. About 1/2 of them are tied to specific memories. And about 1/2 i played the tapes too until they wore out.

So now you have to make your list. but instead of the 80s, I say make it what ever decade you consider yourself a child of. If your a child of the 50's so be it. or the 90s so be it.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Swivel chairs are the best thing ever

Sunday night, scratch that Saturday night , there was a lad who was feeling fine. Had himself a spectacular Saturday, and to end this Saturday, he sat down/lied down on the couch to catch himself some Sportscenter and pet his dog.

The dog greatly enjoyed this, and I (I mean) he fell asleep with his spine bent at the neck into a rather unfortunate position. A few hours later he gets up and meanders into the bed room and continues his relentless search for REM. I found some.

However, when I got up Sunday, My neck was killing me. It is now Tuesday and my neck is still hurting although not as bad. I got a massage on Sunday that seemed to help, but when i got home i was greeted by a 100 lbs of where have you been, i am so happy to see you i thought you had left me and were never coming back, scratch my head right here, oh and now do my rump, down by the tail yea that is the spot. Anyway, this hardy, and unfortunately jarring greeting by none other than the irrepressible neil diamond left my neck hurting again.

So it is tuesday and i am typing about my sleeping injury that is really really troublesome and surprisingly painful and debilitating.

In front of me is my desk, in front of that is a wall, the door is to the south. People keep coming in here, and instead of turning my head to greet them, i have to turn my whole self, rather like C3PO. (Why can't i be like the cool star wars characters.) Nevermind that, this would be problematic except for my chair swivels. This is a god send.

I know what your thinking, that seems to be over stating it a bit. I mean a god send is someone winning the lottery right before they get foreclosed on or someone getting a organ donner, or the 4th fertility treatment finally working. However, I don't need these things. Right now, I have 2 good kidneys, the mortgage is up to date, and the wife is processing the offspring acquisition request properly. So for me, as I think of all the things I am thankful for, right at the top of the list is swivel chairs. A close second is advil, but I really think the chairs are tops today.

So if someone asks me what i am thankful for on thanksgiving, I think I am going to say swivel chairs and leave it at that.

About an hour later.

I am sure this is entirely a sign that I shouldn't make light of all the blessings in my life.

About an hour after I posted that post, the boss came into my office. As you should have guessed from my post, I spun my chair to proper greet the boss position. My overly exuberant chair spinning, coincided with an involuntary or at least sub conscience leg stretch. My legs are just long enough to snag the power surge. Thus yanking it out of the wall. Good by 1 hours worth of journal entries. And depreciation calculations.

So here it is my revised things I am thankful for. My wife, my dog, my job, my friends, my health, my extended if not crazy family, and all the important stuff.

I am still thankful for the swivel chairs, but now I know the dangers of a swiveling all willie nillie.
Turns out too much of anything is bad.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Ads, they don't know me

So Google has a little box down there on my blog that has ads, which I don't mind so much. However, I was someone offended when this ad was placed this morning.
  • Spelling
    Free Spell Checker, Thesaurus & More w/the Free Dictionary Toolbar
Ads by Google

What are they trying to say?

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Things that make me feel dopish.

Beej has requested that I write about stuff that makes me feel like a dope.

Yesterday I was sitting at a light and I notice a bumpersticker in front of me.


So I read it as I Lover Mont. I am trying to figure out what the hell that means.

Who is Mont and why do you lover him. How do you lover some one.

So i am thinking about this and the dog and I are driving down the road.

We get to the next stop light and the dog says to me. Dude, your embarrasing me, can't you see the Vermont Liscense plates next to the bumper sticker.

So I sheepishly turn to my dog and tell him, good boy. And he says, this is why I don't listen to you. You're a dope.

I still don't know why it is IL♥VERMONT and not I ♥ VERMONT

THis is a new section but I wanted to share what i learned with you, even though most of you are smarter than me and already know this stuff.

If you hold down alt and use the number pad to the right of your key board you can make shapes ☺☻♥♦♣♠•◘◙♂♀♪♫☼►☺↕‼¶▬§○

Alt held down and 31 gives you a ▼ alt 3 gives you a ♥ Alt 333 gives you a M an M that is wierd.
ohwell, a index or something would be nice but smiley faces and hearts are 1 2 and 3 and this is helps for work because the section sigh is alt 21. I am perpetually going to insert symbol, special characters, and so forth.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Post election

The election ended, in the way I had hoped, so that is good for me.

but now that the election is past, I am unsure what to blog about.

Hot girl on girl action, while popular in some circles probably wont fill the time for very long.

So this is where I am soliciting blogging ideas from the people that happen across this blog.

What you like this blog to discuss?

Before for you answer, please consider that I am not an expert in anything. So if your looking for a blog about string theory, game theory, financial market conditions, or emerging medical treatments, I am sad to say, that at best I could fake it, and at worst end up sounding like a dope.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Moving to Mytilene

So the other day Abby was talking about that song about kissing a girl and liking it. Only she and most of the people that posted on her blog had not kissed a girl and if they did they didn't like it.

A poster or two mention that their boyfriends didn't mind if they kissed a girl (I am guessing, so long as they could watch). This stems from the rather obvious but still worth stating facts that men are stupid, and women are hot.

I am sure that most women want to be considered hot by other men and having a lesbian story to tell at bars would help. Only most women don't want that. This is where, I help you out. I have come up with the perfect solution to the problem.

University of the Aegean

This fine institution of higher learning is located in Mytilene, the main city on Lesbos the 3rd largest Greek Isle. Here you can study a variety of programs However it appears that only the School of Social Sciences and the School of the environment are based on Lesbos.

In the same manor that residence of Rome are Romans, and the residence of Sicily are Sicilian, the residence of Lesbos are Lesbians.

Thus upon graduation you can return to the states and if anyone asks you can honestly say that in college you where a Lesbian, without having to have kissed a girl.

Of course this solution requires you to learn Greek, move to Greece, major in social or environmental studies, and is likely freaky expensive. It might be easier to just kiss a girl.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Purity Balls and names.

So last night i was eagerly awaiting the warm embrace nocturnal slumber the better half was watch TLC.

The program she was watching ended, I think it was like design on a dime, or sell my house, or this house is a stinking pile of poo, help!, or one of those programs, and this show came on.

TLC :: TV Listings :: Purity Balls Don't bother going to the site, unless you want to find out when it is on again, becuase it just has a description of the show and I'll thoughtfully post that now for you.

"A unique look into Purity Balls, where fathers and daughters subscribe to the single fundamental notion of chastity, with the fathers pledging to protect their young daughters' purity, and the daughters pledging to remain virgins until they marry."

All I have to say is that this was the most incestious thing I've seen in a long time. I kept, I don't mind the chastity part, but apperntly at these balls they promise to not even kiss a guy, they want their first kiss to be with their husbands after they're married. Which isn't even all that bad of an idea. Just odd. However that isn't what bothered me.

The fathers being some creepy mofo that is what bothered me. When getting ready for the ball, which looked like a prom except it was fathers and daughters, one of the dads, said he wanted to give his daughter a night of (I can't remember the first adjective, but I think it was affirmation and the second one, I remember, becuase well, It was f@#$ed up.) He wanted to give his daughter a night of affirmation and romance.

Of all the thinks I want from my parents Romance is not one of them. If I did, I could change my name to oedipus and gouge my eyes, but I'll refrain from doing so, as blogging blind is rough.

The family that the show focused on basically sequesters their daughters and doesn't allow them to interact with boys, until a suitor comes along asks thier father if they can get to know the daughter has a few meetings with the dude and than gets to meet her. WTF is that.

Also the dude had a son, actually several, and the show didn't mention at all what they want or expect from their sons. I would be curious to know.

Another thing about the show, is they kept describing the Purity Ball in the Springs as the most extravigant in the nation. How the hell can you know that, They also said that there are 1000s of them across the nation.

Here is a post (actually looks like an editorial, but I don't know the publications so what ever) in something from someone that supports Purity Balls, Thought I would link it.

I think the ball was held at the Broadmoor. As it was held Colorado Springs and there aren't alot of 5 star resorts there. Abby probably knows, Abby may have attened. Although I didn't seem Magnum, on the TV and as they don't have daughters, maybe that is best.

I don't often give parental advise, but here is my attempt at it. If someone takes something your doing as creepy and weird ask yourself why. Parents can and should be a major influence and role model to their children, but there are somethings they must get from their peers. Romance and affirmation are amoung these.

Also here is the link to the ministry that started them and the family that the show focues on.

Completely unrealated, but names that can't be spelled bug me. One of the daughters is named

Khrystian I copied this from the ministries website, but it jacked up my font. Anyway, lets say I meet her. Hi i am Jerry, please to meet you. And she says I am Krystian. How the hell am i supposed to spell that with out her telling me. To clarify, I don't have a problem with odd names, it is just mispelled for the sake of miss spelling it that bugs me.

Ask everyone in the country to spell Krystian, and I am guessing you might get 2 right. I would probably come closer than most, because, I spell for crap, but that is just stupid.

dude that wrote freakonomics, applied this to naming, and it turns out that trendy names usually start with the rich and highly educated and than migrate to the masses. Only the masses tend to slightly change the spelling to be different. So unless your Welch, stop using Y for vowel in names, like Jerry (hehe). Of course that could just be an economics being an elitist snob, but who is to say.

His premise goes like this, High society folks pick names that they think are unique, and snotty, which reminds me of blair from, facts of life.

Here is the list of names that dude predicts will be popular in 2015, from some site that is used for baby naming. He predict Aldo will be come very popular and since 2005 it has gone from the 601 most popular to 429. he also predicts, Finnegan which has moved from 888 to 653 and Anderson which has gone from 498 to 347. As far as girls he predicts Sophie which has gone from 135 to 82 Phobie 425 to 338.

I think that dudes theories are off base a little bit but if he ends up being right. That creates a natural stereo type against Phynnegan, Feebee, and Khyrstian as coming from lowly educated, poor families.

In short to all those looking to name your offspring after me, only Jerry is acceptable. Not Jeri, Geri, Gerry, or Jerrie. Also it isn't short for Gerald. If you want to name your kid Gerald, name them Gerald, and call them that, don't name them Gerald and call them Jerry, that is just stupid.

hand writting

The other day was handwritten post day, but due to a technical issue (like our server crashing, I was unable to play, so this is late).

Also as a PS. The backwards and upside down J stems from me being left handed. I like em that way.

The modified J is one of the reasons, in my parents teacher conference in 3rd grade. Mr. Ball told my folks, "There is not a grade low enough to give him"

Which may seem harsh but back then the everyone is a winner movement was just getting started so instead of A, B, C, D, E. We got Excellent, Very Good, Good, Fair, and Needs Improvement.

As you can probably tell, I still haven't risen to the level of needs improvement.

Here is a sampling of handwritten excellence brought to you by Mr. Ball.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

diet and exercise

I had fallen off the exercise band wagon, and considering I knocked off a 1/2 a package of Halloween Oreos on Sunday, I am pretty sure, I am already over my recommended weekly caloric intake and thus shot my diet all to hell. The good thing about eating better and exercising is you can start over every day. You just need the motivation to do so.

Well here you go.

I was willing to pass off my bulging mid stomach area bulge as not bigger only swollen. However, I find myself typing this in a brand spanking new part of Merona dress slacks from Target has lead me to look up the times for spin class at 24 hour fitness.

You are probably wondering why someone would do that. I mean who gets dress pants at target. I mean besides me as I am sitting here in a pair.

Also I didn't come to work in these pants. It seems that sometime between my putting my pants on and my ass bursting out of my pants, that either my pants got smaller or my ass got bigger. Thus my postierer, no longer confined by the pants, let out a gibsonian (As in mel as in Braveheart) cry of freedom. Or it could have been the stiching on my pants ripping, but it sure sounded like FREEDOM to me.

Off to Spin again.

internet voting

So I am on the internet right now and i see and ad from Obama on the side bar that says. Vote Early, Vote Obama.

I can't help but thinking, in part cause dude is from chicago. That the slogan should be

Vote Early, Vote Often.

I don't suppose that would go over very well.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

undecided voters?

Who are these undecided voters?

So over at which is some what missleadingly named they have a poll.

This pool has Obama at 49.3%, McCain at 40%, Nadar 3%, and Barr at 1.5% Totaling 93.8% meaning 6.2% of the people surveyed undecided. This confuses me, who are these undecided voters?

And what do they expect to learn in the next week. Seriously, all that is on my tv is negative ads. If you believe anything from a negative attack ad, well you should be kicked in the head.

This is how elections go, you start off saying we'll take the high road and than, not. The closer the election the uglier it gets.

As I want to take the high road and this is a new blog, I am going to start off by saying that this is the best blog ever all those other blogs leave a lot to be desired.


Does anyone that comes here have problems viewing this page or is it just me that can't view me?

The page loads than it goes to a search page a few seconds later.

What the hell is that?

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

new blog

Thanks for finding me over here.

This blog is a work in progress as I just started it a few minutes ago. I've decided that I should spend sometime getting the colors the way i want. I was shooting for cloudy grey blue not a pastel type blue. Ohwell.

ಬತ್ತ್ಲೆಗ್ರೌಂದ್ ಸ್ಟೇಟ್

battleground state
Colorado is a battle ground state. This means among other things, that politicians wont leave me and my neighbors alone.

A while back they proposed dividing Colorado's electorial votes based on the popular vote, the argument against this was that it would marginalize our rather less than overwhelming 9 electorial votes.

I say, bring on the marginalization. I long for the days when I could see a car commercial, and old spice commercial and maybe an ad for a beer.

In fairness to the beer commericials though, nothing has made me want to shed the skin of a non drinker like all the political ads.

Also Colorado is one of the states where you can have ballot initivies. yes on 42 no, on 47, yes on this and that, man I hate ballot drives. Most of the commercials don't even address the initives. They just say things like firefighters are against XX (I don't know which one they're against.) it will make our job harder, than you get to reading it and it has to do with Unions.

If i wanted to legislate, I would run for political office.

This is what Jerry wants, I want to be marginalized, and I don't want ballot inititives.

That is all.

Oh wait, I also want the steelers to win the super bowl and a nice ruben sandwich would treat me right.