jerry's search

Custom Search

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Stupid Questions.

If you type "Why are Americans" into google it suggest several questions for you.  I thought I would take this time to address them.

The first one is Why are Americans so fat?  This one is easy, because we have more money than the rest of the world and can afford to sit on our rich asses eating food that has no dietary benefits till the cows come home, and most of the rest of the world can't.  Maybe that is an over simplification, but it does have a lot to do with our lifestyles and if we did more struggling to find food, rather then just buying happy meals we would likely be thinner.

Question 2
Whyy are Americans so stupid?  I am not qualified to field this one since as an American I am stupid.

Question 3
Why are Americans fat?  It seems that some people think we are "so fat" and other think we're just fat.  I think this is a perception question.  compared to the people starving in like Peru, we are so fat, compared to Canadians we are just fat, but I could be wrong.

Question 4
Why are Americans afraid of dragons?

Although, I do not know why people are asking this question, I do know the answer is, who the f*&% isn't afraid of dragon.  They are giant, winged, fire breathing beasts hell bent on destruction and looting. 
I know they're fictitious, but I am certain, if you came across a dragon and weren't afraid, it would be the last thing you would come across.  Seriously, some questions don't need to be asked.

It is entirely possible the questions that don't need to be asked also do not need to be answered but never mind that.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Ads on my site

After my last 2 posts, the ads on my site changed to ads to meet women, I am not sure why.  Neither post had to do with women, well in as much as that is possible.  As it turns out nearly everything is a woman's fault.  You can blame Eve for that one, or not.  Who knows? I do know most of the stupid things I do have a woman's inspiration at their roots.

Anyway, that isn't why I write, clearly this is a English speaking or writing or reading, this is shall we say a  English friendly blog.  Which, doesn't mean I have anything against spanish, farsi or russian, but I don't speak them.

So 2 of the ads on the thing are to meet Brazilian women.  WTF would I want to meet a Brazilian woman for?  She is either, in Brazil, which is not where I am or her first language is not English, which means we would have an even harder time communicating. All of this is moot anyway, because I am married, but nevermind that.

After I typed this last quasi paragraph, it is only a paragraph if you can make something a paragraph by adding lines instead of having it contain a cohesive thought.  Anyway, perhaps the type of guys or gals that want to meet Brazilian women are not the sort of guys or gals that you would want to talk to anyway.  Unless they 2 are Brazlian or Portuguese, but nevermind that too.  I am thinking if you're looking for a woman from another country who speaks a different language than you do, perhaps, and this is just my thought, but you should get off the internet and into the comfy couch in a therapist office.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Be prepared

As a young boy scout, I learned the motto.  "Be prepared"

I have decided this is a very good lesson.  While driving into work today, some bad driver, I mean some other bad driver decided it was a good idea to exit from the far left lane.  Resulting in the guy next to me and myself being cut off.

The resulting application of the Jeep's brakes resulted in my soda shooting from between my legs to between my feet.  Which, if your keeping track, is not all that desirable of a location for a 1 liter diet coke.  The first is it is hard to drink from there, and what is the point of a refreshing early morning diet soda, if it is temptingly out of reach.   The second and likely more pressing reason is it makes shifting, stopping and or accelerating much more difficult, but never mind that.

So i get of the highway, get to a stop light, give the panhandler a $1 reach down crab my soda open it, and am showered with the golden nectar.  This sucks.  Not only is this not refreshing it is sticky.  If i wanted to be sticky I would move to Starksville.  However, I do not want to be sticky, but I do want a soda, so I have decided, tomorrow, I buy 2 soda.  I must be prepared with an emergency non shaken soda to sooth my semi-addiction based desires.

Sunday, August 15, 2010


I am driving down the road 2 days ago, but for your purpopes, think several days ago, and I was listening to an interview with a guy whose first language was clearly not English.  I would guess farsi, or pashtoon, or some other language I can't spell, but he was from Iran/Iraq/Afgan/pakistan.  I don't remember which, likely not Iran, so one of the other three.  Anyway dude get shot in the chest.  Which seems like a bad thing so he is taken to American military medical treatment who preform surgery on him and his is in recovery for a while and then he recovers, yea.

Anyway, so the guy's doctor says, your the luckiest man in the world, another 1/4 inch and that bullet would have pierced your heart.  The guy then says, he thank the doctor but was thinking, something along the lines of, I am fairly certain the luckiest man alive didn't get shot.

Anyway, As i've recently not been shot, i was wondering if the luckiest man alive is me.  So i am going to buy a lottery ticket see who that goes.