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Friday, November 28, 2008


The other day I was driving around, i think going to the store, I am not sure but the talk radio guys where talking about the new Burton snowboards that feartures playmates, and shockingly the nude butt of the playmates.

I would have never heard of these board without the radio show, and so I did a google search. I found this article

Racy Snowboards Banned From Slopes

Know what cracks me up about this? I don't know how many of you snowboard or ski, but the reason I ride the board I do, Is that it was one of the few boards in the size I wanted a couple years back that didn't feature either violent imagines or drug references or both.

I went to and looked at their mens boards, most have plain graphics that look like graffiti to me, but I am not sure there is anything you could comment on.

On board has skulls on it, the Jeremy board features what looks like a pigman with a bloody machete raised above his head. The Fix board looks like a pill and says 55mg on it. the primo board shows a comic of someone frame by frame cutting their finger off and sewing on the big number one foam finger. and the CONdom board looks like the condom tip on either end with DOM in big print in the middle.

Just for fun though I went to another snowboard site, K2 was the company i picked, mostly cause i know they make them, I am not even sure what kind of board I own. hehe K2 had a bunch of boards most of them pretty boring, but they did have one that showed a skeleton breaking through a wall, kinda.

It took some thinking but I think I ride a Neversummer board. They have some pretty tame boards too, but the evo board has a really busy random bottom I counted 5 skulls and one grim reaper.

If i wanted to take the time, I could find boards with images of nuclear explosions, gun, blood, mary jane leaves, skeletons, graves, headstones, other boards with sexually explict words, tanks, war planes. Mostly just images of violence and drug use.

I don't care either way, but Burton is by far the biggest of the 3 companies (in snowboarding, K2 might be bigger if you add skies) I choose to look at, they had the most sexual images, the most drug references and about the same amount of violent images. I count skulls as violent.

I think there is a less than a small relationship between the success of burton and the anti establishment images they sell.

Burton probably is smiling all the way to the bank about this attention.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

It is 2 for one day here at the ranch.

2 for one day, must be a topic of great import to warrant a second posting. Well, as most of you who read this stuff know, there is rarely a topic of great import to cross the lines of this blog.

But i was reading this (Ways Women Can Hold Their Own in a Male World) the wall street journal online. and I read it and thought. What the hell are they talking about. Some of them are good tips some are silly, the join the softball team, is silly. unless your good at softball, what men don't want are people (men or women) forcing themselves into a situation that they don't want to be in.

If you suck at softball, your better off not playing than causing a team to loss. Unless you lucky enough to have a team that is really focused on the experience rather than winning, but those guys are playing disc golf or ultimate Frisbee.

Anyway, you want to know the secret into dealing with men if you're a woman? Here it is. Know something about sports. Most importantly football, as it is by far the most popular sport in the country, but don't be faking it. About a year after I got my current job, my boss told me he dropped a football question into the interview, to see how i answered it. That got me the job, he said he was tired of no one to talk football with.

That is the big secret men talk about sports, if i go back to my home town and see a friend I've not seen since college, the conversation will go something like this, stammer, stammer, how are you, how are the kids stammer, mumble, mumble, how about those broncos have you gotten to any games since you live in Denver? blah blah blah, but with much more enthusiasm. Men have football. It is our great societal discussion. We don't talk about feelings, or stuff, so much as we talk about sports.

If you work in a male dominated office there is going to be some bond the males in the office have, football, basketball, kids soccer. Showing a genuine interest in it, will get you into conversations that ultimately turn to work projects. Being part of these conversations is where you can get first crack at getting more responsibility delegated to you. I mean what boss isn't going to think, lets give Sally a shot at the quarterly projections after all she does know the single wing formation.

why everyone should blog,

The past week or so, like i mentioned I have been feeling frustrated with myself for my lack of focus, my frustration, lack of motivation, grumpiness and general blah feeling.

I wrote that I am frustrated, and when you people asked me why, I thought about it.

It turns out that just thinking about the problem identifying it and resolving not to let stuff bother you for no good reason, is a good reason for getting along better.

Anyway, I am feeling much better now, in part due to this blog.

Monday, November 24, 2008


No particulars just a general sense of frustration with the world as a whole. Clearly it is the world and not me that has a problem.

Or that could be me and the world is the same.

Since people want more to work with I think it is 2 things.
  • First I am gaining weight and I don't know why. I am not exercising like abby, but I went to spin twice last week and went swimming twice, so I worked out four days last week. That pisses me off. I don't think my diet has changed.
  • Second the holidays stress me out. This stems from upbringing. Christmas and thanksgiving in a house run by alcoholics was at best not fun. My brother in laws call my sisters the Christmas Bitches. I dont know how to get out from under this cloud even though, I will not be involved with my family this holiday season.
So there you have it.

Friday, November 21, 2008


Frustration is setting in. I dont' know what to do.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

sexist man alive

It is that time of year once again when People magazine reveals who they've picked as the sexiest man alive. After being so close to winning last year, I awoke this morning, wandered over to my pc, and was devastated by the news that once again, I've lost.

Only this year to add insult to injury right on the cover it says 129 Smokin' hot guys.

I tried to add the cover but that didn't work so here is a link. Not to people but to some yahoo news article. Anyway, it says 129 smokin hot guys, as i mentioned before.

Prior to reading this article, I was sure I was a finalist, I just got beaten out by Jackman's accent. The American gals loves them some aussie accent. What is a guy from Utah to do, nothing I can do about that. So I take my beating and go off knowing I was that close to winning this year.

But now right there on the cover it says "Plus 129 smokin' hot guys.", That means there are 129 other guys that beat me out. I can take some solace in knowing that I was 130. Why didn't htey have 130 other guys leave 130 off is just mean

Oh well, Remember that show, Say Anything. When Lloyd's friend says "Don't be a guy Lloyd, be a man." That has got me thinking, I may not have been named the sexiest man alive, and only becuase I don't have a cool accent, but that doesn't mean that I didn't finish ahead of those jokers in the 129 hot guys list. I am man and not a guy.

I am awarding myself the Second sexiest man alive award to me.

Monday, November 17, 2008

The tax code sucks

Anyone wanna know what is wrong with our tax code here it is.

Lets say you have a rental property that you rent furnished, and you decide to sell it. The land, the building and the furniture all have different return treatments or that is they all have different rules governing the tax return treatment, which is likely the same on all 3 but to get there you have to figure out the treatment of all 3 types of porperty seperatly.

Lets say you sell it all at gain. The gain is capital gain (15% right now), except for the recapture of any depreciation taken which is ordinary (can be 35%). Simple enough.

Lets say you sell it at a loss. The loss is ordinary (as opposed to capital as is the case of the gain, except for the deprecation recapture). So you sell, your property at a loss, only if the furniture is fully depreciated you will likely have gain on the portion of the sells price allocated to the furniture because your basis is zero. It will be ordinary as you have to recapture your deprecation. Which means you could sell your rental home at a loss and still have taxable gain.

Nevermind that, lets pretend it is all a loss covered by section 1231. In this case the loss is all ordinary loss deducted from income in the year of sale. Capital losses are limited to capital gains plus 3000 of ordinary loss per year. (meaning if you have a capital asset, lets say Washington Mutual stock, and you lost 60,000 on it, and you have no other gains it will take you 20 years to decutct the loss). So you take your loss, but since it is section 1231 gain. You have to keep track of it, and any 1231 gain you have in the next five years will be treated as ordinary income to the extent of any 1231 losses you deducted.

This my friends is why all the cool kids are tax accountants.
Our tax code is something like 20,000 pages long.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Top Eighties songs

I was watching me some "100 greatest songs of the 80s" on VH1, when I had this thought, If i were to make a list it would be much much different. Out of a lack of blogging ideas, and a audience that is hovering between nonexistent and apathetic. I can say your apathetic and non existent because you wont give me blogging ideas. I chose to make my own list. Here is it in no particular order, but the first few songs were the ones that popped into my head first, so I say they are higher. Also I tag all of you who happen to read this to do the same. And the only rule is, you can't list a bunch of songs by the same band. (Also for me the talking heads and violent femmes are mostly ninties bands, becuase that is when I listened to them).

  • Girls, Girls, Girls - Motley Crue
  • Pour some sugar on me - Def Leppard
  • Touch of Grey - The Grateful Dead
  • Violent Playground - Nitzer ebb
  • Bring the Noise - Public Enemy
  • Cold Blood - Kix
  • Youth Gone Wild - Skid Row
  • Friends in low places - Garth Brooks
  • Moni Moni - Billy Idol
  • Crazy Train - Ozzy
  • Back in Black - ACDC
  • Black Velvet - Alannah Myles
  • Money for Nothing - Dire Straights
  • Mr. Brownstone - Guns and Roses
  • Permanent Vacation - Aerosmith
  • Nothin but a Good Time - Poison
  • Ican't get this to move the type back over there. oh well
Maybe this will work

Hum that odd, oh well. Anyway, that is my list that I thought of in less than 10 mintues. I am not claiming these are the best songs of the 80s. Those are the songs that popped into my head when thinking of the 80s. About 1/2 of them are tied to specific memories. And about 1/2 i played the tapes too until they wore out.

So now you have to make your list. but instead of the 80s, I say make it what ever decade you consider yourself a child of. If your a child of the 50's so be it. or the 90s so be it.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Swivel chairs are the best thing ever

Sunday night, scratch that Saturday night , there was a lad who was feeling fine. Had himself a spectacular Saturday, and to end this Saturday, he sat down/lied down on the couch to catch himself some Sportscenter and pet his dog.

The dog greatly enjoyed this, and I (I mean) he fell asleep with his spine bent at the neck into a rather unfortunate position. A few hours later he gets up and meanders into the bed room and continues his relentless search for REM. I found some.

However, when I got up Sunday, My neck was killing me. It is now Tuesday and my neck is still hurting although not as bad. I got a massage on Sunday that seemed to help, but when i got home i was greeted by a 100 lbs of where have you been, i am so happy to see you i thought you had left me and were never coming back, scratch my head right here, oh and now do my rump, down by the tail yea that is the spot. Anyway, this hardy, and unfortunately jarring greeting by none other than the irrepressible neil diamond left my neck hurting again.

So it is tuesday and i am typing about my sleeping injury that is really really troublesome and surprisingly painful and debilitating.

In front of me is my desk, in front of that is a wall, the door is to the south. People keep coming in here, and instead of turning my head to greet them, i have to turn my whole self, rather like C3PO. (Why can't i be like the cool star wars characters.) Nevermind that, this would be problematic except for my chair swivels. This is a god send.

I know what your thinking, that seems to be over stating it a bit. I mean a god send is someone winning the lottery right before they get foreclosed on or someone getting a organ donner, or the 4th fertility treatment finally working. However, I don't need these things. Right now, I have 2 good kidneys, the mortgage is up to date, and the wife is processing the offspring acquisition request properly. So for me, as I think of all the things I am thankful for, right at the top of the list is swivel chairs. A close second is advil, but I really think the chairs are tops today.

So if someone asks me what i am thankful for on thanksgiving, I think I am going to say swivel chairs and leave it at that.

About an hour later.

I am sure this is entirely a sign that I shouldn't make light of all the blessings in my life.

About an hour after I posted that post, the boss came into my office. As you should have guessed from my post, I spun my chair to proper greet the boss position. My overly exuberant chair spinning, coincided with an involuntary or at least sub conscience leg stretch. My legs are just long enough to snag the power surge. Thus yanking it out of the wall. Good by 1 hours worth of journal entries. And depreciation calculations.

So here it is my revised things I am thankful for. My wife, my dog, my job, my friends, my health, my extended if not crazy family, and all the important stuff.

I am still thankful for the swivel chairs, but now I know the dangers of a swiveling all willie nillie.
Turns out too much of anything is bad.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Ads, they don't know me

So Google has a little box down there on my blog that has ads, which I don't mind so much. However, I was someone offended when this ad was placed this morning.
  • Spelling
    Free Spell Checker, Thesaurus & More w/the Free Dictionary Toolbar
Ads by Google

What are they trying to say?

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Things that make me feel dopish.

Beej has requested that I write about stuff that makes me feel like a dope.

Yesterday I was sitting at a light and I notice a bumpersticker in front of me.


So I read it as I Lover Mont. I am trying to figure out what the hell that means.

Who is Mont and why do you lover him. How do you lover some one.

So i am thinking about this and the dog and I are driving down the road.

We get to the next stop light and the dog says to me. Dude, your embarrasing me, can't you see the Vermont Liscense plates next to the bumper sticker.

So I sheepishly turn to my dog and tell him, good boy. And he says, this is why I don't listen to you. You're a dope.

I still don't know why it is IL♥VERMONT and not I ♥ VERMONT

THis is a new section but I wanted to share what i learned with you, even though most of you are smarter than me and already know this stuff.

If you hold down alt and use the number pad to the right of your key board you can make shapes ☺☻♥♦♣♠•◘◙♂♀♪♫☼►☺↕‼¶▬§○

Alt held down and 31 gives you a ▼ alt 3 gives you a ♥ Alt 333 gives you a M an M that is wierd.
ohwell, a index or something would be nice but smiley faces and hearts are 1 2 and 3 and this is helps for work because the section sigh is alt 21. I am perpetually going to insert symbol, special characters, and so forth.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Post election

The election ended, in the way I had hoped, so that is good for me.

but now that the election is past, I am unsure what to blog about.

Hot girl on girl action, while popular in some circles probably wont fill the time for very long.

So this is where I am soliciting blogging ideas from the people that happen across this blog.

What you like this blog to discuss?

Before for you answer, please consider that I am not an expert in anything. So if your looking for a blog about string theory, game theory, financial market conditions, or emerging medical treatments, I am sad to say, that at best I could fake it, and at worst end up sounding like a dope.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Moving to Mytilene

So the other day Abby was talking about that song about kissing a girl and liking it. Only she and most of the people that posted on her blog had not kissed a girl and if they did they didn't like it.

A poster or two mention that their boyfriends didn't mind if they kissed a girl (I am guessing, so long as they could watch). This stems from the rather obvious but still worth stating facts that men are stupid, and women are hot.

I am sure that most women want to be considered hot by other men and having a lesbian story to tell at bars would help. Only most women don't want that. This is where, I help you out. I have come up with the perfect solution to the problem.

University of the Aegean

This fine institution of higher learning is located in Mytilene, the main city on Lesbos the 3rd largest Greek Isle. Here you can study a variety of programs However it appears that only the School of Social Sciences and the School of the environment are based on Lesbos.

In the same manor that residence of Rome are Romans, and the residence of Sicily are Sicilian, the residence of Lesbos are Lesbians.

Thus upon graduation you can return to the states and if anyone asks you can honestly say that in college you where a Lesbian, without having to have kissed a girl.

Of course this solution requires you to learn Greek, move to Greece, major in social or environmental studies, and is likely freaky expensive. It might be easier to just kiss a girl.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Purity Balls and names.

So last night i was eagerly awaiting the warm embrace nocturnal slumber the better half was watch TLC.

The program she was watching ended, I think it was like design on a dime, or sell my house, or this house is a stinking pile of poo, help!, or one of those programs, and this show came on.

TLC :: TV Listings :: Purity Balls Don't bother going to the site, unless you want to find out when it is on again, becuase it just has a description of the show and I'll thoughtfully post that now for you.

"A unique look into Purity Balls, where fathers and daughters subscribe to the single fundamental notion of chastity, with the fathers pledging to protect their young daughters' purity, and the daughters pledging to remain virgins until they marry."

All I have to say is that this was the most incestious thing I've seen in a long time. I kept, I don't mind the chastity part, but apperntly at these balls they promise to not even kiss a guy, they want their first kiss to be with their husbands after they're married. Which isn't even all that bad of an idea. Just odd. However that isn't what bothered me.

The fathers being some creepy mofo that is what bothered me. When getting ready for the ball, which looked like a prom except it was fathers and daughters, one of the dads, said he wanted to give his daughter a night of (I can't remember the first adjective, but I think it was affirmation and the second one, I remember, becuase well, It was f@#$ed up.) He wanted to give his daughter a night of affirmation and romance.

Of all the thinks I want from my parents Romance is not one of them. If I did, I could change my name to oedipus and gouge my eyes, but I'll refrain from doing so, as blogging blind is rough.

The family that the show focused on basically sequesters their daughters and doesn't allow them to interact with boys, until a suitor comes along asks thier father if they can get to know the daughter has a few meetings with the dude and than gets to meet her. WTF is that.

Also the dude had a son, actually several, and the show didn't mention at all what they want or expect from their sons. I would be curious to know.

Another thing about the show, is they kept describing the Purity Ball in the Springs as the most extravigant in the nation. How the hell can you know that, They also said that there are 1000s of them across the nation.

Here is a post (actually looks like an editorial, but I don't know the publications so what ever) in something from someone that supports Purity Balls, Thought I would link it.

I think the ball was held at the Broadmoor. As it was held Colorado Springs and there aren't alot of 5 star resorts there. Abby probably knows, Abby may have attened. Although I didn't seem Magnum, on the TV and as they don't have daughters, maybe that is best.

I don't often give parental advise, but here is my attempt at it. If someone takes something your doing as creepy and weird ask yourself why. Parents can and should be a major influence and role model to their children, but there are somethings they must get from their peers. Romance and affirmation are amoung these.

Also here is the link to the ministry that started them and the family that the show focues on.

Completely unrealated, but names that can't be spelled bug me. One of the daughters is named

Khrystian I copied this from the ministries website, but it jacked up my font. Anyway, lets say I meet her. Hi i am Jerry, please to meet you. And she says I am Krystian. How the hell am i supposed to spell that with out her telling me. To clarify, I don't have a problem with odd names, it is just mispelled for the sake of miss spelling it that bugs me.

Ask everyone in the country to spell Krystian, and I am guessing you might get 2 right. I would probably come closer than most, because, I spell for crap, but that is just stupid.

dude that wrote freakonomics, applied this to naming, and it turns out that trendy names usually start with the rich and highly educated and than migrate to the masses. Only the masses tend to slightly change the spelling to be different. So unless your Welch, stop using Y for vowel in names, like Jerry (hehe). Of course that could just be an economics being an elitist snob, but who is to say.

His premise goes like this, High society folks pick names that they think are unique, and snotty, which reminds me of blair from, facts of life.

Here is the list of names that dude predicts will be popular in 2015, from some site that is used for baby naming. He predict Aldo will be come very popular and since 2005 it has gone from the 601 most popular to 429. he also predicts, Finnegan which has moved from 888 to 653 and Anderson which has gone from 498 to 347. As far as girls he predicts Sophie which has gone from 135 to 82 Phobie 425 to 338.

I think that dudes theories are off base a little bit but if he ends up being right. That creates a natural stereo type against Phynnegan, Feebee, and Khyrstian as coming from lowly educated, poor families.

In short to all those looking to name your offspring after me, only Jerry is acceptable. Not Jeri, Geri, Gerry, or Jerrie. Also it isn't short for Gerald. If you want to name your kid Gerald, name them Gerald, and call them that, don't name them Gerald and call them Jerry, that is just stupid.

hand writting

The other day was handwritten post day, but due to a technical issue (like our server crashing, I was unable to play, so this is late).

Also as a PS. The backwards and upside down J stems from me being left handed. I like em that way.

The modified J is one of the reasons, in my parents teacher conference in 3rd grade. Mr. Ball told my folks, "There is not a grade low enough to give him"

Which may seem harsh but back then the everyone is a winner movement was just getting started so instead of A, B, C, D, E. We got Excellent, Very Good, Good, Fair, and Needs Improvement.

As you can probably tell, I still haven't risen to the level of needs improvement.

Here is a sampling of handwritten excellence brought to you by Mr. Ball.