posting

My posting has become a little sparse perhaps the word is infrequent, or given the lack of fiber in my diet I might describe my past posting as irregular, but that my put bathroom thoughts in peoples heads and we can't have that.

Anyway, as i was saying, my posting has slowed, it isn't that I don't have lots of great thoughts and wisdom to impart on the world, or the five people who read this, but if those five tell their blogging buddies something I said, well, given the people who come here have vast networks of blogging pals, my under exposed but no less genius ideas can be spread throughout the nation, world, universe, muahahahahaha.

However, back to my not posting, I've not been posting lately because, I am busy. Been working 70+ hours a week. Been getting ready for a baby, been walking my dog. How old would you say the baby has to be before I can say take your dog for a walk? How about telling the dog to take his baby for a walk, is that legal?

On a side and slightly less important note, wanna see greatness. I mean since I took the photo of me off of here, there is rarely a sighting to be had anymore.

I know that my claims of greatness might be challenged by some misguided player haters, but if you're the one challenging, I would like to point out you're quite simply but absolutely wrong.

I am a dog person

This video cracks me up and clearly demonstrates why I am a dog person, you can't trust a cat, they're sneaky.

Fires

I was over at Abby's blog and her story inspired me to retale a story of mine. Unfortunatly for me, I can not lay blame at the foot of the dumbass 11 year old next door. My neighbor's could tell a story similar to abby's but mine is differnt.

So here it goes, It is a pleasent day back in I'll say the spring/summer just past the fifth grade. I think that would have been 1984. Oh sweet, van halen jump was likely on my mtv, and i was blissfully unaware of the awsomely understated drama that women would bring to my life.

Anyway, I was thinking, I need some lunch, what do we have, well be got some potatoes and crisco I'll make french fries, and have a coke. Doh, we're out of soda. So I put my fries on and think to myself, I'll bet I can get to the gas station and back (on a bike) before my fries are done.

As it turns out I couldn't do that trip in less time than it takes to cook french fries, burn fries, have grease catch fire from exessive heat, and start cubboards on fire.

In an endorsement of the boyscouts of america, or perhaps cubscouts, I don't remember which your in at that point, I knew not to but water on a grease fire. So I got the fire put out and no one even called the fire department. Which in hind sight my have been the best thing some one could have done, cause than my parents may have realized 1. 5th graders shouldn't be cooking lunch for themselves and 2. fifth graders shouldn't be home alone cooking lunch for themselves, but never mind that. I got grounded, on the plus side we got a new stove hood, i think a new stove and cabinets.

Stupid bmx bikes, they're too slow.

Anyway fast forward to about 89, maybe 88 sometime my sophmore year. I got my driver's liscense. Which was nice, although I didn't have a car, but never mind that. so there I am thinking, I am going to make me some lunch, what do we have, we got potatoes, I think I'll make some french fries, doh we're out of soda, I'll bet I can get to the gas station and back in a car before the fries are done.

It turns out that is also wrong.

FYI, Chrysler financials website is down again.
3rd month in a row the first time i try to log on the site is down.

stuff

I listen to music while at work over on thesixtyone.com which added a thing to some songs that says share, that link about is me just playing with that. Although I really do like the song.

Things that i think are funny.

The feable attempts to bail out the markets. i.e. the housing market. I keep hearing thinks like the housing prices need to recover. I keep thinking no they don't. Over the past decade they went up freak fast and caused people (myself included) to over pay for stuff.

Jerry thinks long term if we didn't bail anyone out the market and the economy would take a bad hit, but recover, this way, the economy and the housing market are going to suffer a 1000 paper cuts and end up in the same place.

The world baseball classic is going on. I know it was news to me too. Here is a tip for the people promoting baseball, Americans are not going to watch in great numbers becuae one it is baseball, but 2 if we win we can claim we're the best in teh world, which we already claim, but when we lose, well, we have to accept we're not the best at the game we invented.

scary stuff

Here is a list of things that scare the you know what outta me (some in a good way some in a less than good way and other in a downright horrible way).
1. The Exorcist
2. Most scary movies, I hate them and do not watch them.
3. Women
4. My career
5. The force that you feel when you are turning sharply in a car, I do not remember if it is centripetal or centrifugal but one of them
6. Dancing in Public
7. Public Speaking
8. Failing
9. Did I mention women.
And finally the thing that scares(/excites) me most
10. I am going to be a dad this month.

my tips for committing fraud

1. Don't
2. See number #1
3. if you must don't record it on a balance sheet account you dolt.
4. Don't mess with payroll, that is the easiest place to find shadiness on the income statement.

For you none accountant types, Here is a brief lesson. Balances sheets are like a cumulative score of your business efforts. They show things like how much cash you have, how much you owe, how much you have had in earnings, that you've not paid out in dividends or withdrawals. The point is the balance sheet is sorta permanent.

The income statement is like a quarter score in a basketball game, This period we had this much income. At the end of the period you roll that into the balance sheet and start over.

As that is the case if you do shady shit on the income statement it goes away at the end of the year. You start over in January.


This is the second tax season in a row, I've found a bookkeepers (albeit a bad bookkeepers) stealing money from their employers because they put it on the balance sheet.

I hope you find this guide helpful. If you don't follow rule one or two and do steal from your employer check back later I think I will write a guide to living in the pokey.

Although, I've no first hand experience of that so I think I'll leave that to someone else.

Here is a link to an open letter from Martha stewart. Hope that helps.