class reunion

My 20 year reunion is supposed to be next weekend.  Only I can't go.  It turns out my real life is getting the way of my former life.  Which got me thinking why do i want to go.  I had a good time in high school, but I was also a complete and utter social failure.  Which may or may not be an exaggeration, but here is my test, i never had a girl friend in high school, i never went on a date. 

I would have done anything, to be good enough to have had a girlfriend in high school.  Well that is anything but ask a girl out.  That is pure lunacy. I realize the errors of my thinking, but it can't change it.

I don't really care what most of the people are doing, I have a few friends i would like to have a reason to visit.  I like to visit where I am from and since my family is no longer there, it is highly unlikely I have reason to get back.  But at the same time, I want to visit.

I have no desire to see the girls the either rebuffed me, wouldn't talk to me or completely terrified me.  It isn't that I don't want to see them, but to me in my head they're who they were not who they are, so I guess, I have memories of a time, that is gone, and there is no going back.  It isn't that i don't want to see them either, it is just I don't get those shows like high school reunion on vh1. 

I don't want to go back and reunite with people, who mostly through my own cowardice, remind me of the time in my life, when I was full of potential yet failing everyday to do the  only thing that mattered.

I also want to go, cause I have a smoking hot wife.  I can think of a few people that I would really like to see just to say, ha my wife is hotter than your wife, but that is probably not good want to have.  I don't want to see people to think, man it sucks to be you, or I make more money than you, or anything like.  I just would like to see where some people have ended up.

Facebook has cleared that up for some people, but for a lot of people that isn't the case at all.