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Thursday, July 1, 2010

Why the internet is the greatest invention since, well, ever!

I was going to write about why I think the Internet kicks ass, but then my title has me thinking what are the greatest inventions ever.  I mean in school they teach you of the Cotton gin, but to be honest. Eli did nothin' for me with that one.

Here is my list of the greatest inventions ever.

  • Diet Soda - I am sure I would be pushing 3 large if i was drinking regular soda, which is why regular soda is not on my list.  There is nothing good about regular soda, i mean other than it is tasty, but lots of things are tasty and well just not good.  However Diet Soda doesn't make me fatter.  It might not help me lose weight.  Which I know it doesn't, but I do think it stops me from gaining it. So for that I give diet soda a thumbs up.
  • Head phones.   Besides being a boon for the ear, nose and throat specialist, I no longer have to listen to the annoying people in public simply put on my head phones and the bliss that can only be found in a crowd listening to widespread panic (or similar) by yourself.
  • Blogs, I am including these because the Internet could exist without them, but then I would be making a publishing a list. 
  • High heels.  While women may not agree, Heels are sexy, sexy is good, there for heels make the list. I could make an entire list dedicated to things that are impractical & uncomfortable, but well I like, but I'll just let heels represent that category.
  • Running shoes.  Seriously what did people wear on the weekends in say 65?  I am not sure, I really don't know, and I don't want to live in a time where I don't know.
  • Airplanes I know I use my car more, but I don't really care about that, I suppose I could travel via car, but I enjoy a flight.  If I want I can wake up on one continent and go to sleep on an other, how cool is that?
  • Vaccines - I know a lot of push back is being aimed at them this year, but in Colorado just recently 3 otherwise healthy kids have died from contracting meningitis.  I was thinking this morning, I do not know one person who has had small pox, polio, mumps, measles.  That is all I can think of now.  If you look at the causes of childhood death in the US in say 1850.  Most of the leading ones are gone.  Which is groovey.
  • Electric guitar - I likes me some music.
  • Sun glasses, I am sitting at my desk with my offices east facing windows wearing sunglasses, I get to tell people it is because I am just that cool, but really it is because it is freaky bright in here, and if i close them it looks like a cave.
  • Video games - which I like, and if they hadn't been invented my bored, geeky, lonely self would have spent my high school and most of my college years, looking at porn and jerking off.  Instead, I played video games and thus am not a sinner or at least not as much of one. (mostly this last one is to see if anyone actually reads this far.)
That is all i can think of right now, I am sure my list is incomplete, but well feel free to ad anything, or better yet go make your own list of the coolest stuff.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Ha! Video games vs masturbation, you never fail to crack me up!

Abby said...

This is a good exercise we should all do occassionally.