my letter to people magazine.

I am on hold, so I think, I am going to sure the net as the computer assistant just told me my expected wait time is greater than 15 minutes.

I had the great thought, I should write People Magazine.  So I sent them this email.

Dear Editors,

I have spent the past few months in a sullen state of dismay due to once again being egregiously left out off the previous list of People’s most beautiful people. Each year I look at the list and think, okay, I may not be top 10 material, but I could easily slide around 43. I also realize that tooting one’s own horn is not all that beautiful of a characteristic, however as I do not have an agent and am not famous I have decided the assault on my image of myself has gone on long enough, so I am writing you to ask for consideration in your next list.

I have just reread what I typed and have decided that perhaps I am overstating my own beauty. After all there are six billion people in the world and I am claiming to be around the 43rd most beautiful. That very act disqualifies me from inclusion. Narcissism is clearly not a beautiful characteristic.

But if I but some qualifiers on it, I think I might make your list. First off I am a guy. As we only represent about 48% of the world’s population. This means while I may not be in the top 50 of the whole population, perhaps I am in the top 50 dudes.

This still leaves 3 billion people, among them that guy in the old spice commercials. I am going to have to admit, he has me beat, also Brad Pitt, Will Smith, and several others have me beat on the beauty-o-meter.

I have decided to add some more qualifiers. If the fine folks at People ever decide to put a list of the 50 most beautiful male, Capricorn, left-handed, blue eyed, blood type A- , certified public Accountants, I humbly request consideration for this list.

Thank you